The only way I can think to express my feelings about yesterday is to say that it was great. Guys, I’ve mentioned how rough life has been lately. So many facets go into that statement – here in not the space for sharing those details – but yesterday… Yesterday was like a breath of fresh air after a stuffy ride in an elevator.
We walked away from our meeting with the mama of baby Z completely trusting the Lord in His providence. Of course there were a few things we would have changed about our verbiage, but all-in-all, we have no regrets. I just have to interject here to say: All the assumptions that a mama couldn’t place her baby for adoption if she loved him are entirely false. This mama knows she can’t do her best for him right now and was diligently searching for a family who could. And guys, baby Z, oh my heart. He is. SO. Adorable! So, so sweet. Just picture black curly hair on the head of the tiniest little puckered face you can imagine and you might come close.
Last night, we got our email. Mama chose a different family. And though we are ultimately sad, bummed once again with being “rejected”, I can’t describe the abundance of faith surging through my heart with an intensity I don’t know I have ever before experienced. Ya’ll, that’s thanks to YOU. Your prayers have moved the heart of God on our behalf and He has swooped down to whisper words of encouragement and love and passion to my doubting spirit.
Thank you feels inadequate, but I’ll offer it nonetheless. Though I can’t say yesterday turned out as we’d hoped, my man and I laughed more than it seems the past months have allowed. We spent the day discussing aspects of life, joking through the nerves and smiling like fools in more hope than this rough season has afforded. God may not have propelled this adoption story forward as we’d been begging Him to, but He is knitting our hearts together more tightly than before as we fortify this relationship with His truth. He IS moving, even when the miracle we’ve been asking for looks different than we’d anticipated.
And as I typed out this update, another situation has been presented to us. Another reminder, God is still moving and is still in control. We’ll keep ya posted.