The unfolding of your word gives light;
It gives understanding to the simple.
The Divine irony here still amazes me. I started this post (with this exact title) mere hours before the Lord revealed to us a secret He’d not only long kept, but also protected us there-within. Let me explain.
My original intention for this post was more or less a simple concept:
I would connect the secrets kept for the perfect gift on Christmas with the secrets kept the first Christmas. As with any great gift giving, the reveal of the gift also comes with the secrets held along the way to make the unveiling so sweet. The first Christmas was of course the grandest of all. Heaven split the skies with a long-kept secret that would change the course of history; the presentation remarkable, the timing perfect.
But I can’t share that post anymore. Not because it isn’t a message I still believe. Oh to the contrary, it’s one I’ve now lived.
I won’t go into specifics. This just isn’t the place. But its safe to say my entire world almost shattered as my husband’s life hung in the balance.
This past week has been the most anxiety riddled I have ever experienced. I have never before walked through days filled with such worry and confusion, uncertainty and gut-wrenching fear. Just thinking of it makes my hands shake once more and my breath shallow.
But the Lord’s timing as He revealed the secrets… It was nothing short of perfection. Any sooner and the diagnosis would likely have been missed. Any later…it would have been too late. Even down to a well placed deer in the middle of the road, God showed up and moved.
I’m often told I’m too wordy for the straight-to-the-point soul. I get it. That’s fine. God made me passionately wordy, I won’t apologize for that. But just so we’re clear, let me say this as straight-to-the-point as I can:
My husband almost died but God intervened.
God clearly knows how to keep a secret, but He also knows the best way of presenting the gift piece by piece at just the right moment. My beautiful mama told me the other day, “Life is always fragile. Sometimes we’re just all too aware it.”
As I sat in that dark hospital room I was all too aware of the fragility of life. Yet even as I sat there, I knew we were not forgotten. I saw angels, I felt the presence, heard His voice… Even in the anxiety, the pain and the hardship of watching the strongest man I know go through such intense suffering, God has never left us lonely. He is good at being God.
His timing is simply impeccable.
Without the secret, we wouldn’t know the miraculous gift of this incredible unfolding. This Christmas we spent apart from our children, holed up in our house with tears falling freely at the weight of anxiety. Yet, we spent it together. Something that could have been – was almost – ripped from my grasp.
Our prayer is that this story with which we’ve been entrusted will point others to the One who knows the sparrow.
Today I’m wearing our adoption shirt, even though in all honesty I don’t have a clue what this all means for our adoption. Further testing is necessary to determine root cause and future treatment. But I can say for certain, the details of it all are no longer something in which I’ll be concerning myself.
For such a time as this, God moved on our behalf.
I’ve no doubt He’ll do it again when the timing is just right.
I can’t end without saying if you are waiting on a revelation from the Lord, I pray you are here encouraged. He has not forgotten you. He won’t. He alone knows the right timing. And the scriptures are oh so true, when you draw close to the Lord, boy does He draw close to you.